Cancer survivor Lani Horn, who helped me through some painful times during my cancer treatment, writes in a piece for kveller.com about anger, justice, and the search for deeper meaning in the Jewish holy days. She talks about a moment of clarity during a workshop for survivors, where she witnessed much talk about "making meaning out of the cancer experience, deepening our gratitude for the ordinary, becoming more compassionate." Snip:
After losing my brother, two breasts, and almost three years of my life to illness and hospitals, I was over these platitudes. I stood up to speak. ?This is all fine. I get it. But my problem is that I am mad at God.? I even talked about the Unetanah Tokef, which had been a grueling part of the High Holiday liturgy since Jeremy died.?Who shall live and who shall die?
A surge went through the room. I had uttered the unspeakable. Afterwards people came up to thank me for my honesty. One was a hospice chaplain, himself a cancer survivor.
?Remember,? he said, ?there is a such thing as holy anger. Think of the prophets. Anger can be a spiritual feeling.?
For the first time, I did not feel like my anger separated me from God. It was an honest description of my relationship.
Yes, I was angry.?Who shall live and who shall die? Why him and not me? And why him at all?
Read the rest: Rethinking Who Shall Live & Who Shall Die (Raising Kvell)
(Image: Dad's Grave's Broken Headstone at the Jewish Cemetery in Mumbai, a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike (2.0) image from Avi Solomon's photostream.)
? Boing Boing editor/partner and tech culture journalist Xeni Jardin hosts and produces Boing Boing's in-flight video channel on Virgin America airlines (#10 on the dial), and writes about living with breast cancer. Diagnosed on December 1, 2011. @xeni on Twitter, and email: xeni@boingboing.net.
TAGS:? breast cancer???faith???health???Health Care???jewish???judaism???religion
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Source: http://boingboing.net/2012/09/27/cancer-and-the-high-holy-days.html
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